Monday, February 4, 2008


I like to drive.. not sure why...I'm asked how I like the 3-1/2 hr trip back home all alone...honestly, I love the free-time. Do I listen to the radio? Not ususally... I process..... process, process, process. So today, I'm on the road again for a quick trip up to my little booth at the Nickel Antique Barn. Deep in thought about people involved in conflicts....wondering why it happens so often. Why more of us can't be peacemakers...compromisers...cuz in the long run, time usually softens the problem and heals the wound. I think of a former co-worker in a large staff I worked with. It was a challenge for all of us to get along with her. But, I discovered the closest colleague at that time was one of the counselors. She sought to enlighten me about trying to understand people's behavior and I remember her lessons on predicting people's behavior based on their needs... everyone has them, only in different orders. Some peoples #1 needs are love and belonging ones...some people's are safety and security...there are about five basic needs she described. One of the more common ones you see in the workforce are a person with "power" needs. There it was.... this co-worker continually wore her power crown! Once I realized this and just handed her "the power" everytime I need something done by her, we got along famously...I encouraged her to tell me how she thought it should be done even though the outcome was the way I brought it in to her....after awhile, she would make my requests a priority...all because I just let her feel she was the one in the room with all the power and control. Then one day she had a quote posted on her counter which has stuck with me ....probably because deep within it hit a nerve. Simply stated .... "it's easy to be an angel when no one ruffles your feathers"... how fitting I thought! Of course, the key here is to learn to live your life being an angel even when someone ruffles your feathers....I certainly haven't mastered it, but the quote always comes to mind when I'm in conflict with another. So today, as I'm processing conflict in my mind I drive by a church just outside of Delano and just have to laugh outloud at the quote I see on the sign closest to the highway.... "Aggravation introduces you to yourself"..... how true is that ? The perfect conclusion to the discussion I was having with myself.

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